Tuesday, December 30, 2008

the big H

today is crazy so far, gearing up for surgery tomorrow. yep, it's hysterectomy time! woo hoo. i'm finding it's really hard to prepare for, i have no idea what to expect except for the warnings i get from everyone from my mother to neighbors. i never had a C-secion & had a small laproscopic thing done awhile ago, so this will be interesting....i find that i'm more nervous about aaron & the kids & not being able to help them than the surgery itself, that i've barely considered. it's also not good that i keep forgetting about madyn when i make playdates for the kids or other plans, i guess having three kids still hasn't really sunk in.

yesterday i spoke to a neighbor who had this same thing done 5 weeks ago by the same doctor & it really made me realize how challenging this is going to be to recover from. i momentarily decided i should immediately cancel the surgery & pretend everything is fine. & maybe it was a sign, but i started feeling icky & crampy & i remememered why (aside from giving me three beautiful children) i hate my uterus. damn thing has been a pain in my...stomach actually, since i was 12. even though i'm thinking i am nuts for doing this right now, i also have to remind myself that this is for the best, ultimately i will feel much better down the road & i'll be a better mom to my children. & that i'll save $3000 by hurrying up & doing this before 2009. that's definitely motivating too.

so wish me luck! with the holidays & all i didn't have an opportunity to do so but after all this is over i may just have to throw myself a "Farewell Uterus" party!


Saturday, December 20, 2008

my new motto: check babies' toes.

since i sent a Twitter update earlier today about madyn's first ER trip (see right side column) i thought i should quickly update so no one worries too much.

yesterday madyn was agitated most of the day & i felt like all i did was hold a crying baby. today we were supposed to go to aaron's step-sister's out-of-town wedding & then to visit some other family for an early christmas celebration. unfortunately, with madyn so fussy & with an emerging cold we decided it was best if i stayed home with her & this morning i sent aaron & the kids off without us, even though i had second thoughts & really wanted to go at the last minute. she seemed much better this morning & slept a lot--probably because every time she tried to nap yesterday she would wake up & get upset & then spit up.

around noon i gave her a bath & though i normally just put her in a sleeper (it seems to keep her warmer) i decided to put her in a cute footless one piece outfit. when i went to put her socks on i suddenly noticed that two of her toes were completely red & swollen & upon closer inspection had something like a thread wrapped so tightly around them that there was no space between them at all & you couldn't even see what was binding them through the swollen skin. it was horrible. i did what anyone else would do-i called my mom. i had determined that it was actually HAIR wrapped around her toes, not thread. i don't know how several light blonde hairs had gotten into the feet of her pajamas nor do i know how they got wrapped around her toes so tightly her circulation was cut off, but it was horrifying to see it for the first time & know that something had been hurting my baby for who knows how long but she had had no way of telling me.

so my mother, sister, & sister's friend came as soon as they could, & armed with small scissors & a flashlight my mother was eventually able to cut the toes apart & then unwrap each individual toes (my gosh it was SO tight!) & then it we kept looking & it seemed that at least one of them had a hair cutting off the circulation & they remained red & swollen & we simply could not tell if there was hair under all the swollen-ness, & if there was there was absolutely no way we would be able to get to it. so we hurried to the ER. i once decided to try a fake diamond ring on from my jewelry box at 10:30 at night & knew immediately i had a big problem & my finger started swelling right away. i tried everything to get it off & finally aaron was able to cut it off my finger (scary!) but when i called the ER they told me that i needed to come asap. & since i had no idea how long madyn had been in this condition i was pretty freaked out.

the ER was packed & we ran into a family friend whose daughter had presumed appendicitis & looked to be in seriously pain. luckily we were called back right away & the doctor had to use magnifying glasses & a tiny needle to try to see if the toe was still being strangled. he said that we had gotten it all & assured us that just because it still looked completely red & swollen it may take 24 hours or more to get back to normal but she will be okay. he said that red was better than blue, so that's a relief! he said that they learn about this in medical school (but it didn't seem like he had seen this before, & he had definitely been a doctor for several decades if you ask me!) & the nurse who checked us in had never seen it. ironically though, a couple years ago we arrived at friends' house for dinner only to learn that my friend's third child, a baby himself, had just had this happen & she had discovered it while she was bathing him. it was the string from inside his sock & it had wound around his tiny toe. i was shocked, had never heard of such a thing & couldn't believe her good fortune in having discovered it, as i know how completely unobservant i am. it was also interesting because my friend herself was also familiar with this condition as she works for a company that makes socks that we buy at stores all around the country & she had actually heard of this occurance.

i can't tell you how relieved i am that i discovered this. i usually just put madyn in a sleeper & had i done that i would have just put her foot into the pajamas & never noticed it.....i now wonder if her fussiness yesterday was because her toes were having their ciculation cut off. poor thing. it just makes me sad to think about it. but you better believe this won't happen again, i will always be checking for this! & telling other moms too!

so, all is better, though her toes look exactly the same hours later, red & swollen, but that should get better soon. i'm sorry i worried people in the update, it could have been much worse (apparently little boy babies sometimes have this happen to their--well, let's not think about it! ouch!)


here's a picture my brother & i just took, hours after the "removal", it still looks so painful!

**update: we weren't exactly sure the doctor hadn't missed something still embedded in her swollen toes, so shortly after the above picture was taken my mom insisted we take one quick look again before i left her house for the day with a bright light & a magnifying glass. sure enough, the smaller toe that we suspected might still be harboring a little hair did indeed still have some wrapped around it & my mom was able to pull it out & unwind it. i just took another picture of her toes now that she's home, poor kid. i think she's finally on the mend from this odd toe strangulation.

**update #2: apparently this can be called a "hair tourniquet". who knew?


she's recovering & seems to be back to normal, thank goodness. tell your friend, tell your neighbors--toe strangulation CAN happen!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

5 weeks today

okay, madyn's 5 weeks old today but these are from a week ago. pretty cute i think :)


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