tales from the hospital

so, sometimes when you have surgery & you're under the influence of the sweet drugs they give you before you fall into unconsciousness, you get a little chatty. i can only imagine the things that pre-op nurses & doctors hear from patients. before my dad's colonoscopy i guess he discussed how cool it is they can look through your colon with a little camera. but i guess he said this about 10 times in a row, each time thinking he was saying it for the first time.

unfortunately, though i was hoping to avoid this, i just couldn't keep my mouth shut as i was about to go under the knife. as soon as the surgery was over my doctor came out to talk to aaron & immediately told him "i guess i should give joanna $80 to put in her gown!"

let me explain. i photographed my doctor, his partner, & their cute dogs for their card which i also put together. it is sooooo cute! & he ordered tons of them & then days before surgery asked if he could get more. so i put another order in for him & then had planned to invoice him (or trade him for a tummy tuck while he was cutting me open, i'm open to a little barter) but i forgot & realized i needed to collect at some point. so, of course, one of my last memories pre-surgery is telling the nurses that the doctor is my buddy & i did his holiday cards & i need to get $80 from him. that might be the last thing i remember but not the last thing i said. apparently, i proceeded to tell many nurses that my doctor owes me $80, i think they all in turn thought it was hilarious & each of them told him. by the time he talked to aaron the poor guy had been hounded by quite a few people, probably myself included!

but hey, i got my money. guess who showed up with a check right before my discharge?

***

my OB is on the right, we had so much fun with these pictures:


***

i made a new friend at the hospital.

the hospital staff was absolutely wonderful. they were all very caring & helpful & i really couldn't have asked for better nurses. in fact, i just loved the nurse who was first assigned to me. she was really kind & sweet & super cute. she would leave & i would whisper to aaron, "i just love her! isn't she cute? i want to fix her up!" i don't know what my problem is but i 1) love to meet new people, 2) just want everyone to be happy, & 3) i want all my various friends to be friends with one another & to be happy. that's not a bad thing.

so early on i chatted with my nurse & we made small talk. i asked her if she had a boyfriend, she didn't & not i am obsessed with fixing her up. i'm sure she thought i was crazy for saying, "so, you're from a small town near here. you're not seeing anyone? i know we've only known each other two hours but i know someone great you should meet!" but we clicked & i was insisting she come over to hang out & have pizza with our family & she loved my photography & i loved how adorable she is & single so i can make it my mission to set her up. i wanted to take her picture but that might sound crazy.

i e-mailed her when i got home from the hospital, then i was sad as i didn't hear from her. i thought we really had a connection, i thought we were going to be buddies. i told aaron i had been blown off. so sad. aaron said she probably just told me what i wanted to hear & had no intention of e-mailing me. but i told him he was wrong, we were like "you're so cool!" "no you are!" "let's hang out!" it was real.

so lo & behold she hadn't checked her e-mail & she got back to me yesterday & now i have a new nurse friend! she's coming over sometime. & then i'm going to help her find a boyfriend! listen, i'm married with three children, life has few thrills. i'm excited to have a new buddy & i can help her find happiness, is that wrong?

***